Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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