He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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