I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
