What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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