Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she smelled like a LAN party
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
