So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just cropdusted the office
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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