We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
