Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
