exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
