That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
