and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
