you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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