I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
