hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
