That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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