I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
