Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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