Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
