Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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