I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
