Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
