I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
