I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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