Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
