Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
