Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and she was petting her beer can
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
