We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
