i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
