If that was your dad, he is hot
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
