He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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