Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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