it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
