hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
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Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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