officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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