Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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