GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
