So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
