Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
