actually, I'm a sock model
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
