u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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