I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i drank out of a bidet.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
40s are totally the cure
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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