please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Rumble strips road head = magical
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
