She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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