He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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