I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
