I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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