ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
soo... how was my night?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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