If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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