since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
