I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
