ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
