you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
