She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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