I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
