Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think i got beer on your cat.
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