you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
